That was exactly what I found, but I found more than that. I found memories and moments from so long ago, some of the greatest of my life, and I had forgotten they'd ever happened. I realized I'm so worried about the future that I forget about my past and what "fun" was to me at 16. I'm so preoccupied with what I'm going to do tomorrow I forget what I'm going to to now.
The first picture I saw was of me making the" I love you" sign to the camera.
It's from 2010 (that feels like centuries ago.) and I don't even remember takingit or where I was. (Probably in school goofing off during lunch)
There were more of my friends and my dog
And one of me that struck me more than it probably should have. (Brace yourselves)
It was a silly picture (obviously) of myself that I had taken in my bathroom. (I was going through a wierd makeup phase. Don't judge.) But I was so carefree. I was totally fine with posting it to myspace (I know what you're thinking. Mywhat?) But it made me realize that I don't do that anymore. I don't look into camera's totally uncaring of what I look like or how my face is or if I'm wearing makeup. Nowadays I look at camera's and cringe because I'm so unprepared for them. So worried about myself that I forget to smile. I worry too much in general really.
Seeing these pictures made me realize that I'm becoming boring, and crawling into a shell that frets the future. I want to do my best to revert back to the girl in that picture with the lessons I've learned over the past two years. I want to be someone who knows when to worry, not one who worries all the time.
Life is too long to not be cautious but life is much too short to focus on our faces.
No comments:
Post a Comment